Shaadi and blues..

As mentioned earlier, I stay in a city where there are diverse cultures. Naturally, their customs and traditions vary too and what varies the most is their time of getting married. While in some communities marriages take place early in the morning, there are some others where marriages take place in the thick of the night. Naturally, in both cases people are hardly awake.

Welcome to India. The land of big,fat and NOISY weddings.

It is an interesting contrast as to how the perspective of people regarding wedding varies when they are and not a part of the wedding. The very same people who express dissent and claim that elaborate weddings lead to noise pollution are happy being a part of and adding to the noise pollution when its a relative, friend or a friend's friend getting married. This means free and unlimited food,booze, the juiciest gossip and even eye candy.

So while on one hand the groom is hoisted atop a garish looking horse (poor horse would be thinking its his day to get a bride but all he gets is a few morsels of horse feed) on the other hand there's the beautician trying to empty every bottle of concealer and every other article of make up she can find on the bride. And then comes the turn of the elders in the family who load her with infinite pieces of jewellery. I am pretty sure that by the end of this 'loading' ritual the bride is sure to weigh atleast 20 kilos more than her actual weight and I think that's a fair estimation.

And while the groom is on his way to meet his Mrs. he is accompanied by the star performers-The Brass Band wallahs. They are the walking talking carousels who haven't changed the songs they play over a hundred thousand years. Sample this:

I have come to a conclusion that the 'Nagin' tune is their all time favourite tune. Though I haven't been able to figure out why. But it sure brings out the hidden serpentine tendencies in the baraatis. You can see them sway in a snake like fashion in the middle of the road. The last I heard, the honourable snake god had sent a special team of detectives to find out whether the 'ichhadhari nags' that escaped from the snake kingdom had actually turned into these humans. :|

Next we come to 'yeh desh hai veer jawanon ka albelo ka mastanon ka'. One would expect this song to be played on days like the Independence day and the republic day but its most often heard on occassions of shaadi. All baraats are incomplete without this song. It is the song of great significance since it is this song which loosens the pockets of elders and adds weight to the pockets of the 'jawans'. This is the nazar-utarne wala song as I like to look at it.

This is generally followed by some latest Bollywood numbers which gives ample opportunities for the men to show off the pelvic thrusts and the women to sway like the hottest item girls and believe they are the next screen scorchers.

And as the baraat nears the venue, the 'Aaj mere yaar ki shaadi hai' song emanates out of the hoarse brass bands. The song concludes with 'aisa lagta hai jaise sansaar ki shaadi hai'. Arre bhaisahab, sansaar ko bhi aisa hi lagta hai. That's because they too don't get to sleep.

But in some ways they are better off than the poor couple who is about to get wed. Atleast they are not the ones who have to pose with random strangers, touch the feet of random strangers and become endorsers of Moov and the likes or see random strangers eating away to glory and commenting as to how wonderful the spread is.

However coming back to the start I'd rather have a Himesh song play on the radio than hear the nagin tune for the zillionth time in my life.

As for me I'll probably have the brass band belting out Bryan Adams'....