Jagriti Yatra Musings

Months of anticipation finally culminated into the event that was the Jagriti Yatra 2011. Several uncertainties and apprehensions existed prior to the journey. While this blogpost was scheduled to appear about 2 weeks earlier as I sat writing it in the AC compartment of this one of a kind train called the Jagriti Express that was customized to include sleeping areas, bathrooms, washrooms, pantry cars, conference halls..you name it! But what really was the driving force behind this journey you may ask? I think it was the 450 odd strangers turned friends-for-life on the train which come from such varied backgrounds in terms of nationalities, personal backgrounds, walks of life, age groups et al.

Never before had I met such a vibrant group of people brimming with energy and enthusiasm to bring about a change in the society rather than just be bystanders and dinner table "wannabe" change makers.

A typical day would start at around 7 a.m with a rather mellifluous wake up call blaring on the PA system announcing 'Yatris, it is 7 am and it's time to wake up. I REPEAT, it is 7 am and its time to wake up. Our train will be reaching by 8 am. Please have your breakfast and de-board the train as soon as we reach since we have only a 10 minute halt. This was followed by a frenzy of sleepy people trying to hog the bathrooms and wash basins amid the background music which included 'Yun hi chala chal rahi', 'Aashayein', 'Kya Karoon' and 'Kandisa'. On most days, it was almost felt like you were inmates in the Bigg Boss house (in a nice way)!

By 8 am we would have reached our destination, still rather sleepy, the cold winter mornings fuelling the same. But 'Team Disha' armed with their super shrill whistles and motto of 'keep moving' ensured that by the time you reached the buses you were wide awake!

We covered 12 destinations in 15 days which meant covering the circumference of this country called India. Here's who-what we visited in a nutshell:

Mumbai: The starting point of the yatra. When I first walked into the IIT convention hall and saw this sea of people none of which seemed to be a familiar face, little did I know that 15 days later at Kalyan station it would be so difficult to say goodbye to the same people who had become family!

December 24, 2011 was also the day when we first rehearsed the 'Yaaron Chalo' song. The song is an anthem for all the yatris now and will surely be remembered for many years to come!

Dharwad: The next pitstop of the Yatra (Bigg Boss and the Amazing Race rolled into one) found us visiting SELCO which lit up the lives of people with solar power making it accessible and affordable to those who need it the most. What fascinated me was their 'Light to Education' program under which every child enrolled in government schools was given a solar powered lamp to study but which had to be recharged by bringing it to school the next day. This ensured a steady attendance of pupils.

Bangalore: The Silicon Valley of the East was next. We had an interactive session with Mr. Narayana Murthy who poured his heart out to us. What an unassuming man, what a powerful visionary and such a humble human being. We were super impressed with the Infy campus and inspired by the man who made it all possible.

This was followed by a panel discussion on technology start-ups comprising of the founders of Redbus, Babajobs and Ekopay. It was fascinating how seamlessly they had managed to integrate technology into successful entrepreneurial models.

Madurai: The city of temples brought with itself a visit to Aravind Eye Care, the pioneer in elimination of needless blindness. The model started by Dr. V has become a pilgrimage for millions of Indians who suffer from preventable blindness but who did not have the resources to avail medical facilities. There is no discrimination on the basis of the financial status of a person. The poorest of the poor and even the rich are given free medical aid if they so desire.

Kancheepuram: The damp, dark morning of Kancheepuram, a quintessential small sleepy town interspersed with small temples at every nook and corner. We met Gouthami who runs Travel Another India which is an enterprise engaged in rural tourism.

Vishakhapattnam: Vishakhapattnam is the home to Naandi- possibly India's largest kitchen which has also tied up with the government to provided hot midday meals to children in government and municipal schools. The Indian Navy hosted us in the evening and led us through some behind the scenes action.

Behrampur: By now we had come on almost the same latitude that we had started on. We were now on the eastern coast of the country in Orissa, a 180 degrees journey so far. We had the privilege of interacting with Mr. Joe Madiath, the founder of Gram Vikas whose story was truly inspirational. Gram Vikas has established sanitation facilities in the interiors of Orissa, one of the most backward regions of the nation. He calls toilets 'houses of dignity'

Patna: The dreaded North Indian winters awaited us in Patna. Wrapped in two-three layers of warm clothing we made our way to Nidan, an organisation striving to empower the underprivileged sections of the society including unorganized labour through community programs.

Deoria: The headquarters of the Jagriti Sewa Sansthan, we were greeted with much fanfare at the station with dhols and flower garlands. This was my first experience in an actual village. Lush green fields with bright yellow mustard flowers and freezing cold mornings, this was nothing short of a Yashraj movie set. I also made (in collaboration with others) my first ever business plan on rural tourism! We also had the opportunity to witness the traditional Alha performance which was one of the most entertaining dance performances I have ever seen in my life! Post this, we danced the night away.

New Delhi: The capital city was enveloped in thick fog the day we reached resulting in a 2 hours delay which proved to be a boon since we could catch up on some sleep. By now, deodorant cans had begun replacing buckets of cold water! The morning had sessions scheduled with the Ministry of External Affairs and a panel discussion with entrepreneurs such as William Bissell of FabIndia. What mesmerized me however, was the talk given by Anshu Gupta of Goonj. His words about how people are unable to afford clothing, the basic facet of human dignity and well-being still echo in my ears. A deeply moving session and a wake up call to face the reality!

Tilonia: The Barefoot college started by Bunker Roy in this discreet part of Rajasthan is responsible for lighting up remote villages all around the world. He started the concept of Solar Engineer Grandmothers who were handpicked and trained to bring about electrification of villages where no government programs had reached. In addition to this, Tilonia manufactures items of daily use as well as handicrafts. The yatris indulged in much longed for retail therapy.

Ahmedabad: The penultimate day of our journey brought us to the Sabarmati Ashram in Ahmedabad. The serene environs of the ashram resounded with Gandhiji's favourite bhajans, his way of life and teachings as we delved into trying to understand our life's purpose and all that we had experienced in the past fortnight. The evening session consisted of an interaction with SEWA, the women's self help group that aims at empowering rural Indian craftswomen. This was followed by the valedictory ceremony amidst loud cheers but somewhere deep down it was difficult to accept the fact that we would have to get back to our 'normal lives' the following day. It was an emotional moment for most of us when we sang the Jagriti anthem for one last time.

A few yatra moments I will never forget:

• The announcements over the PA system which were always followed by 'I repeat'
• The Fire Drill. "This is a drill", "this is a fire drill" (James Bond, much?)
• The long queues outside the tent bathrooms and the struggle to take a bath with ice-cold water in a moving train including the relentless sounds of "Does anybody have an extra bucket or an extra mug?"
• The hilarious and random conversations with the awesome people who lived in 15/7 and 15/8
• The endless hours spent on random platforms "networking" with people when the train was supposedly scheduled to arrive in 5 minutes
• The scramble for seats in the AC chair car sessions
• The new year celebrations inside a moving train replete with dance et al.
• The ever so cheerful catering guys who ensured that the 15 day 'diet' went for a toss!
• Learning Afrikaans and teaching my 'sister from South Africa' Hindi
• The sound of shrill whistles courtesy Team Disha
• The paparazzi moment at the Barefoot college at Tilonia where hundreds of children gathered to greet us
• The folk dance at the Gram Vikas school at Berhampur, Orissa
• The Jagriti anthem steps which I thought resembled Tai-chi at times!
• The Aquafina water bottle collection which 'is to be recycled and used to create an installation for the London Olympic Games'
• The Lifeline exercise with the group
• Not more than 6 hours of sleep in a day (luxury!)
• The beautiful countryside of India

My biggest take-away from the Yatra? Do what you are really passionate about. You couldn't care less about the world.

"Yaaron chalo, badalne ki rut hai!"

ps: Wish to be a part of this once-in-a-lifetime experience? Apply here http://2012.selections.jagritiyatra.com/register/jagriti/

Rockstar

I personally think Rockstar- the movie was sort of over-hyped. However, the songs were excellent and Ranbir Kapoor was phenomenal. Afterall, which girl wouldn't find a stubbly, brooding musician who walks around in a boho avatar adorable?

So for those, who aren't Ranbir Kapoor fans or Rahmaniacs but would like to know what Rockstar is all about without spending precious time and money, here's a snapshot...

Why I want an Armadillo

My laptop has a weak immune system. It is subject to attacks both internally and externally. Internally because it suffers from a lot of near death experiences which translates into me getting mini heart attacks and externally because it is constantly subject to peeling paint (which the Dell customer care executive says cannot be helped) and ant attack! Yes, you read it right.

I think my laptop is actually a camouflaged anthill and those tiny six legged creatures are guerilla warriors trying to seek revenge for some godforsaken reason because as far as memory can recollect, I have never ever harmed their kind, never subjected them to a watery death, never tried focussing sunlight on their colony through a magnifying glass, though I must admit I've been tempted.

Soo anyway after lying dormant in the Dell anthill for a while, family Formicidae has launched an attack stronger than ever before. The first time I noticed this phenomenon was when I thought Patrick Dempsey's irrestibly good looks were jeopardised by a mole on his face and a mole that moved! On closer inspection, it turned out to be the nasty six legged creature.

But seriously, do ants feed on metal these days? because I certainly don't devour those chhota Hide and Seeks or bhakar vadis in the vicinity of my laptop.

And this is not a stray case of ants. There probably exists a Formicidae Co-operative Housing Society nestled in the confines of my laptop's motherboard. I've tried boric powder, using a brush

to get rid of the ant menace. Unfortunately the All-in-one Hit will not reach the crevices of my laptop.

A friend suggested I call India TV to unravel the mystery behind the ant attack!What do you recommend?

The India Against Corruption Rally.

"Dhuan chhata khula gagan mera nayee dagar naya safar mera
Jo ban sake tu hamsafar mera, nazar mila zara"
-Roobaroo, Rang de Basanti

It was a damp evening in Mumbai today. And there was a rally organised by India Against Corruption that was to begin at Bandra(W) and culminate at Juhu. For a city that's well known for it's spirit and resilience, there was no way that the rains or the crater laden roads or even certain open manholes were going to deter the will to join the movement against corruption and support the bill for a stronger ombudsman.

Let me tell you, the last time I saw so many people on the roads was when India won the World Cup. However, this time around the gathering wasn't revelling in victory. Rather it was a gathering of people who were angry. Angry and frustrated with the state of affairs of this country. The lack of governance. The corruption that has engulfed everything. Even the very roads on which the protestors marched bore signs of corrutpion. The so called infrastructure on which crores of rupees are spent for repair and other purposes and which were repaired just 2 months back were nothing short of kuccha roads. And this time, there were people from all sections of society. Young and old, rich and poor..it was India that poured onto the streets. I wonder what the struggle for independence was like.

And since no protest march is complete minus slogans, this rally too had it's fair share of interesting slogans besides of course Inquilab Zindabad and Bharat Mata ki Jai! Sample these:
1. Gali Gali mein shor hai saare neta chor hai!
2. Hamara neta kaisa ho? Anna Hazare jaisa ho!
3. Desh ka youth yahan hai. Rahul Gandhi kahan hai?
4. Desh ki beemari...Manish Tewari!
5. Kapil Sibal..maaro chappal! (x2)
6. Saari sarkar nikammi hai...Sonia iski Mummy hai!

It was a rally of responsible citizens. They made sure that the streets were not left littered. They made sure that ambulances were allowed to pass. They made sure that there were no untoward incidents in a gathering of over a lakh people.

It is on days like these that my faith in spirit of the nation is reaffirmed. We too are capable of bringing about a revolution. A billion voices. United!

Why I Love and Hate the Rains

It's been a while since I've blogged. This was thanks to my internship which consumed the entire week and left me so exhausted by the end of it that all I wanted to do was sleep and watch TV and sleep some more.

So anyway, the monsoons graced Mumbai in the last week of May bringing much respite to the EXTREMELY sultry weather which was so bad that I'm told even the sight of those ridiculous deodorant adverts which feature 'hot' women drooling over the deo owner would repulse them. Hence, you can imagine how bad it was.

As usual, the Municipal body was less than prepared to handle the fury of the rains because in our city, when it rains it pours. And the bylanes and more often than not even the main roads start resembling the Venice of a third world country. And no, these waters don't discriminate. So there are frequent sights to marvel at like the ones when a BMW gets stuck in the middle of the mini pool and the humble autorickshaw is able to manoeuvre it's way through like a badass machine.

Believe you me, if you really want to experience the monsoons Mumbai style, it is highly recommended you travel by public transport just so that you can experience those everlasting memories.

Here are the top 5 reasons why I love the monsoons:

1. The breeze doesn't dehydrate you by the time you reach your destination because more often than not you will NOT find public transport.
2. Since you sweat less, your face doesn't look like that of the Bride of Frankenstein.
3. The rains make it impossible for the eunuchs to corner you at traffic signals and force you into giving them money.
4. The abundant craters and potholes ensure that every part of your body is given adequate workout before you reach your destination. Who cares about those Telebrands exercisers nowadays anyway?
5. And we can be assured that there won't be a water cut next year unless a certain industrialist decides to channelise every drop into his 22 storey Altamount Road wonder.

And here's why I hate them:

1. Because the access-way to the local train stations resembles a landslide site which has to be carefully treaded over. This basically means that I have to trek in my 3 inch stilletoes which basically isn't the ideal situation.
2. Because the local train seats are dripping with water ensuring that you all you can do is stand and stare at the vacant seats while your toes get mutilated. It's like being forced to listen to a Himesh Reshammiya song on TV because you cannot find the remote. Seriously, MTV?
3. Because your phone has to wrapped in several layers to plastic which effectively reduces the ringer volume ensuring atleast 5 missed calls in the span of 2 hours.
4. Because Tata Sky almost never receives signal even during the slightest of drizzle which basically means that I have no access to television till the month of September while my neighbours who've subscribed to the local cable services get uninterrupted transmission. My life is so not jhingalala! x(
5. Because the freaking wind makes my house seem haunted!

And umm, since I can't think of an appropriate ending for this post why don't I leave something for you to chew on:

Ever wondered what would happen if Freaky Friday transpired between Manmohan Singh and Digvijay Singh?!

☺

Mumbai Blasts

When you're at the end of the road and you've lost all sense of control,

When your thoughts have taken their toll and your mind breaks the spirit of your soul,

Your faith walks on broken glass....

(21 Guns, Greenday)

Last evening when I was at work struggling to complete a note on the registrations required prior to the commencement of aircraft operations in India, my co-intern got a bbm saying that there had been a bomb blast in Bombay. Soon, the office was abuzz with news confirming that there had indeed been bomb blasts in three places in South Bombay. I refreshed the NDTV and IBN websites but they did not suggest anything to that extent had happened. Then the news channels started showing live coverage from the mauka-e-vardaat.

The cellphone networks had been jammed by now and there was no way I could contact anyone. Infact, I had to ask my friend on Facebook to call up my parents. Imagine the anxiety.

My journey back home that takes nearly an hour by road and a witness to a tired city still bustling with activity, took me less than 20 minutes to cross the island city. There was an eerie silence as darkness descended upon a bruised city.

Within minutes world leaders condemned the blasts. The politicos and our Mr. Mute Singh dashed off statements saying this is a very unfortunate turn of events. We condemn the blasts. Justice will be done. OFCOURSE you condemn the blasts. Don't add insult to injury by making such pointless statements!

While my twitter newsfeed was abuzz with comments such as 'Now the city lives up to the reputation of being 'BOMB'ay' and 'Happy Birthday Kasab, hope you had a blast', there were a few other prominent people condemning the blasts calling it an act of coward while they themselves sat in the luxurious comfort of their Malabar hill home or accessing Twitter on their iPads sipping a glass of red wine waiting for a news channel to call them and try to find out what is going on in the minds of the ordinary Mumbaikar. Funny though, how Shobha De and Suhel Seth are designated as the voice of Mumbai who are supposed to have a legit critical opinion on whatever happens in Mumbai, be it the blasts or the soirees or sanitation issues.

So what did the blasts actually do? Shake the spirit of the city whose spirit refuses to die? Shaken but not stirred, you would like to believe. Not true, I say. The reason I and scores of other Mumbaikars chose not to take a leave from work the following day was because we couldn't. It wasn't because we were very resilient. It was because we were forced to report back to work or wherever it is we had to go.

While some people took it to social networking to vent out their feelings as to how Kasab should be hanged, how the perpetrators of this latest incident should be subjected to public trial, how the world has but we have and never will learn a lesson on how to combat terrorism, how it was an intelligence failure, a failure of government machinery, the list is endless...

some others thought of carrying out peaceful protest marches and candlelight vigils espousing the cause of justice for Mumbai, a city anyone and everyone chooses to mess with at a whim, there were a few good samaritans who were actually on the field, lending physical and emotional support to the victims and helping the city get back on it's feet. I have immense respect for them. The unsung heroes whose sole aim in life is not to be featured on Television talk shows wearing D&Gs and Sabyasachis.

The skeleton of the city has been fractured and repaired several times but the scars remain and I don't know how resilient it is to withstand future dents. Our government's blue eyed boy has stated that we've been able to prevent 99% blasts. Considering inspite of this we're attacked almost once every year, I shudder to think how much hatred exists in the souls of the perpetrators against this city!

Carnival of Rust

Who would've thought that a ship on it's way to the scrapyard, would find it's 4 days of fame?

MV Wisdom, an unheard of merchant ship which broke away from the towing vessel and nearly collided with the Worli Sea Link, found it's fame during it's last days when it landed at Mumbai's favourite beach at Juhu.
And what followed at Juhu was the great Indian tamasha. People swarmed, journalists swooped in and hawkers never had a better business opportunity.

A Day in the life of India?

:)

Delhi Diaries

So my last post was ages back and it was about the British royal wedding. Now that William and Kate are on their first official tour to the United States, I too had been away on a jaunt to New Delhi. And it was not really my first trip to the place (I've been to that place about 4 times so far), but for all practical purposes it was. Never before had I been away from the watchful eyes of my parents for a period that long( 13 days). So, barring the 'few' mandatory morning-noon-afternoon-evening-night calls and texts from my parents I was on my own in a city as infamous as New Delhi.

These instructions had been drilled in my head prior this trip

• Don't talk to strangers
• Don't travel in autorickshaws
• To always reach home before sunset
• To keep my money safe
• To store a gazillion random relatives' phone numbers in my contact list and not hesitate in calling them.

I must admit though, I didn't follow a single instruction.

The day I reached Delhi, I was greeted with a thunderstorm. The temperature had dipped substantially and I was happy that I wouldn't have to face the dreaded Dilli ki garmi. But I was wrong. Nature, as usual was working on it's sinister plans.

The next day it was kind of a Loo and behold situation. For those who sucked at Geography Loo is the hot dry wind that blows in the Northern plains during the months of April-May-June. The Sun God was in the mood of showering all his blessings upon us. And my body's mast cells started working overtime giving me a bad cold and a worse cough. This was followed by numerous visits to the Apollo pharmacy for various OTCs ranging from lozenges to Otrivin. For most part of this trip, I was perpetually high on Otrivin and since I visited the Supreme Court pharmacy every other day, the pharmacist had actually started displaying more cough related medicines on the shelves. Had I stayed there for a few more days, they would've probably considered giving me a loyalty card.

Our journey entailed a daily commute from Noida City Centre to Pragati Maidan which is a good half an hour train ride. But the Delhi Metro is the most luxurious form of public transport you will ever come across. It's clean, air conditioned, organised and occasionally entertaining, a far cry from the Local trains of Mumbai which leaves you dehydrated and your toes mutilated by the end of your journey. The Metro staff was also happy to help and gave us the glossy Metro maps leftover from the Commonwealth Games which gave us a fair idea of what was where. Yellow, Violet, Blue, Green lines. Airconditioned stations. Bliss.

Oh by the way, if you're a stickler for courtesy avoid travelling by the Yellow line. The pre-recorded message never says "Please". It sounds almost like Big Brother is watching every move of yours and will abduct you if you don't mind the gap between the foot-board and the platform.

So, armed with a map and a measly amount of five grand each, we (my friend and I) set out to explore the heart of India. And I must say, it did not disappoint me. I was amazed to see how organised the city was. How every little landmark had it's own signboard. How clean and green the city was.

The Monuments:

Now Delhi is dotted with architectural wonders, new and old. Since, it has always been the seat of power for so many centuries this fact comes as no surprise. But you do get goosebumps when you see those imposing structures right in front of your eyes. The intricate carvings, the many facets of architecture. It's like your History book coming to life! Delhi boasts of 3 of the 15 World Heritage Sites that are present in India.

Red Fort ✔

Humayun's tomb ✔

Qutub Minar ✔

Jantar Mantar ✔

India Gate ✔

The Shopping

Delhi is a shopper's paradise and the best part about it is that it caters to every pocket. So you could splurge in the high end boutiques at GK-II or go shopping to the good ol' Sarojini Nagar Market. Dilli Haat is a place not to be missed. You could spend an entire day there and empty your wallet in a matter of few minutes. However, what really is put to test in Delhi are your bargaining skills. The more you call the shopkeeper "bhaiyaji", the more are your chances of getting stuff at a lesser price. I managed to bring down the price of an item of jewellery from Rs. 500 to Rs. 100 and I take pride in this achievement of mine. *grins* Places not to be missed also include Saket (Select City Walk) and Noida Sector 18 (Great India Place), if you're the kinds who's a sucker for malls. Connaught Place has some big stores too.

The Food

The cosmopolitan nature of the city reflects in it's food. So, you'll find carts selling the world's best momos with the world's spiciest chutney, tandoori chicken, chole bhature and chaat all in the same row. A word of caution must be sounded though. This eclectic mix of spices that the Delhi street food comprises of is not for the faint bellied. The famous paranthe wali gali invites you with the tantalising aroma that wafts all the way to the Chandni Chowk Metro station. However, the sight of the conditions in which the food is cooked and served is enough to send anybody into a fit of puke. No, I'm not a city-bred snob to be saying that. You have to see it to believe it. We settled for Haldirams' chola bhatura and Raj Kachori. However, you must not miss the awesome Mughlai food at Pind Baluchi and the D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S pasta and dessert at The Big Chill Cafe and the Cold Coffee at Nirula's. Ofcourse, there are plenty of McDonald's and KFC outlets too.

I also happened to visit the Kingdom of Dreams in Gurgaon. When you're visiting Delhi, you must make it a point to keep aside Rs. 750 to visit this one of a kind attraction. The Culture gully which showcases the food, handicrafts and culture of each state is worth every penny you spend on the entry pass. I didn't however get an opportunity to watch the Zangoora show which is touted to be India's answer to the Broadway.

13 days later, it was time to come back to Bombay. Oh and just so you know, the purpose of my trip was not all fun and games. I'm happy to announce that yours truly has successfully completed a summer course in International Law. :D

The British Royal Wedding

A lot has been said and written about the nuptials of Kate Middleton and Prince William, and why not? The modern day fairytale wherein the world's most eligible bachelor weds an ordinary girl after a romance that lasted a decade and a relationship that had it's own fair share of ups and downs reached it's happy ending with the ceremony at Westminster Abbey and was sealed with not one but two kisses on the balcony of the Buckingham Palace.

The affair to remember started with months of speculation when Kate (now HRH Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge) and William announced their engagement and the blue sapphire and diamond ring that once belonged the the ethereal Late Princess Diana so befittingly sat pretty on Kate's finger. Then there were speculations about her wedding dress, the cake and the invitees to the wedding of the century. Everything was closely guarded. In spite of all the paparazzi, I think the princess to-be maintained a very dignified profile inviting no bad press and no embarrassing blasts from the past excluding the famous sheer dress that she wore in her college's fashion show. But that should hardly be considered embarrassing since it was the same dress that made the Prince notice her!

There was a lot of excitement all over the world with poll results touting Kate to be one of the most popular royal brides ever. She enjoyed the goodwill of people all over the world. The excitement was palpable in India as well with the news and lifestyle channels partaking in the frenzy. Shows about royal weddings in the past, the lifestyle of the Middletons and interviews of the friends and family of the couple became a staple of prime time programming. All this lasted for a fortnight and it all culminated today with the live telecast of the royal wedding.

Now I must admit, I have never seen such a grand wedding being telecast for us 'Muggles.' The extravagance was evident right from the start when the guests started pouring in. The women in their ultra gorgeous Philip Treacy hats and the men in their best morning suits representing the who's who of the world sat in each other's company at the Westminster Abbey. This was followed by visuals everyone had been waiting for, the arrival of Prince William along with his best man and brother, Prince Harry to the church. As the Bentley pulled into the streets, the poster boys of the British monarchy waved at the crowds who'd been waiting all night long and into the morning to catch a glimpse. This was followed by the arrival of other members of the royal family including the groom's father and the Queen. Then came the visuals everyone had been waiting for, those of Kate getting into the car. The Chantilly lace bridal dress was designed by Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen and she wore a tiara the Queen had lent to her. She looked simple yet extremely elegant. As she stepped out of the car accompanied by her father and her maid of honour and adorably cute flower-girls and into the church, the picture seemed straight out an illustrated fairy tale.

As she walked down the aisle, one could see the best man telling the groom that his bride who had been a self proclaimed "bundle of nerves" just hours before the wedding looked beautiful. The archbishop led the vows for William and Kate. The only possible glitch that could've happened was when the ring didn't seem to fit Kate's finger but that was resolved and the couple was pronounced Man and Wife. They then proceeded on to sign the 3 registers that every royal couple must sign after being wed while the choir engaged in some opera.

And thus the wedding was solemnized. The girl who'd entered the church as a commoner stepped out as royalty. An open air horse drawn carriage stood waiting to escort the royal couple back to the Buckingham Palace. The bride who was now Her Royal Highness received a royal salute from the British cavalry and the newly-weds seemed to be enjoying every bit of affection and attention albeit in a dignified manner that was being showered upon them by the thousands of people who had gathered along the London sidewalk. They did their bit for the crowd, waving at them and acknowledging them.

And when the wedding part finally reached the palace and when they emerged in the balcony for their first appearance as Prince and Princess, they sent the crowds and the media and the millions of viewers across the world in a tizzy by kissing each other- a tradition established by Prince Charles and Lady Diana. The crowds clamoured for one more kiss, and the much in love couple happily obliged.

Thus, came down the curtains on the biggest reality show in modern history. A reality show with all the pomp and grandeur minus the advertisements and the sponsors. The girl next door had found her prince charming. And they lived happily ever after!

Morning Walk Musings

You don't stand before a mirror and wonder what the road will think of your outfit or listen to its jokes and pretend they're funny in order to run on it. It wouldn't be easier to run if you dressed sexier, the road doesn't notice if you're not wearing lipstick, doesn't care how old you are, you don't feel uncomfortable because you make more money than a road. You can call on a road whenever you feel like whether it's been a day or a couple of hours since your last date. The only thing a road cares about is that you pay it a visit once in a while.
-Nike ad:What Women Want

I happened to watch the Mel Gibson-Helen Hunt starrer last night. The theme of the movie was much done as the title suggests what women want, and for all practical purposes be it eye candy or entertainment, the movie didn't impress me much. The same old redundant and fantastic story of a man getting mind reading powers on being electrocuted in the shower and hearing what women want and eventually turning from a MCP to a more compassionate individual. Then ofcourse, he loses his powers on being electrocuted again, the same way our heroes regain their memory after getting hit by the same stick. What tremendously appealed to me in the movie was the above mentioned quote.

Contrary to what a lot of us may perceive it as, it's not to be construed only in the context of a man-woman relationship. No sir, it goes on to show how the dynamics and the struggles in the life of an individual.

Today morning when I put on a faded blue t-shirt, track pants and an utterly mismatched pair of red sneakers with a yellow rubber band adding to the melee of colours, and set foot in the park for my 2.5km walk, I realised how oblivious I could be to everything around me , everything except the Greenday song that played on my iPod which prompted me to run further. And it wasn't about running away from anything. It was just about moving ahead. And when I did take cognizance of the people around, I realised everyone was just the same. At that hour in the day, in a city like Bombay which is known to be the fashion capital of India, nobody had an ounce of make up or jewellery or matching clothes. Left me wondering as to why people (including me) can be so different in a matter of hours. Why must we dress to impress others?

They say clothes maketh a man but is that truly so? Are our clothes the testators of our character? If that were so, we would be changing with every new collection that hits the racks. Why must we be so conscious of the way we look when we step out in public? Why must we be commanded by those skinny girls who tell you to eat a particular brand of breakfast cereal to stay in shape?

Why must we pretend to be in control when we really aren't?

An Ode to Angry Birds

It was in the Mag section of a newspaper that I came across this App called Angry Birds. An App that was supposed to be a rage with the owners of iPhones and iPod touch. Since, I'm technologically inferior I tend to rely a lot on these reviews while deciding what app or games to download in general. And I happened to browse through the App store and found the trial version of the app and installed it like I'd done with many others. Little did I know that this game would turn into an addiction and I would end up playing it for hours at an end so much so that the battery would drain out.

The basic premise of Angry Birds is very simple. There's a bunch of birds armed with special powers who have to knock down green pigs who've placed themselves very strategically. So you have to load the birds onto a catapult and stretch it enough so that they knock the pigs down. The birds go wheeeeee and knock down the grunting pigs who mock at you if you're unable to complete the level. Thereafter, you replay the game with even more vengeance only to realise that that one pig which is still alive is smirking and grunting and mocking you. In a span of 2 weeks I was able to complete all the levels in the trial version. I then happened to chance upon Ducks vs Hunters on Facebook which was as bad a copy of Angry Birds as Karishma ka Karishma is of Small Wonder. I eventually succumbed to the addiction and went ahead and bought the full version of the App from the App Store for $0.99. This also happened to be my first purchase ever from the App store.

As the levels progress and there are over 60 levels, the level of difficulty gets greater and bigger and more number of pigs begin to appear with helmets. They are now ensconced in concrete, wood and glass walls which require a minimum of three bird hits to topple them down. The choice or order of birds unfortunately doesn't rest on you and you wish at times that the game would function on motion sensors and then gravity would do it's job.

These are the stars of the game:

Black Bird: This bird is explosive..literally! Falls on the structures and blasts them like a thousand sticks of dynamite.

Yellow Bird: Crashes right through the structures. Extremely powerful and very useful for pig destruction.

Red Bird: The small one does little harm but the big one is one huge cannon ball..crushes the pigs like those obese aunties in the local trains who crush you while jostling for place.

Blue Bird: This bird may be tiny but it splits into three birds which may not be very destructive but nevertheless add to the interest value.

White Bird: This bird drops an egg which is supposed to be explosive but does as little damage to a pig as bird poop would do if it were to fall on someone's head.

Green Bird: The green bird is the worst of all. It acts like a boomerang but loses it's rebound tendencies as soon as it touches anything including a balloon. To be able to use this bird well, you need to have paid attention to your teacher in your physics and trigonometry classes.

You are also rated on your performance with one, two or three stars depending on how well you've performed. As for me, I'm still stuck on level 3-16...any ideas?

Why CID is such an awesome show

If there is one thing that's constant on Sony Entertainment Television it's got to be CID. The show that's been going on for over a decade and shows no signs of going off air anytime soon. I sincerely hope that it doesn't. StarWorld quotes Michael Weston (Burn Notice) as the James Bond of Television but I think ACP Pradyuman and his team of super sleuths rule the roost.

Here's why I think the characters deserve a pat on the back:

ACP Pradyuman: Where else would you find an officer who is so committed and dedicated to his work that inspite of solving every case he lays his hands on, he doesn't get a promotion in 13 years and he still wants to continue with his job. He also believes in imparting education through the show. Ever noticed him demonstrating the Right Hand Rule? If not, then observe carefully the next time you watch the show! And don't miss him reiterating "Oh my gaaaawwd Yahan toh laash hai" , "Daya Darwaza tod do" and "Ab toh tumhe ya toh umarkaid ya phansi milegi"!

Abhijeet: Senior inspector Abhijeet is another promotion deprived officer on the show but he seems to believe in the theory of do your best and leave the rest. So he doesn't care about his promotion either. This could also be attributed to the fact that he was once hit by a rod which led to recurring bouts of amnesia. Unfortunately, what he doesn't forget is the fact that he has to hit on the not so good looking Forensics doctor with Maggi like hair who doesn't give a damn in every episode that goes on air.

Daya: Daya is one lucky guy. He joined the team as a sub inspector and went on to become a Senior Inspector. Seems like breaking doors and slapping criminals thereby leading to them confessing to their crimes does go a long way in getting promotions in the CID office. Also, he seems to be Abhijeet's chaddi buddy. It's almost like watching Chacha Choudhary and Saboo.

Sudhakar and Fredricks: Unfortunately, I could never figure out their designations. They seemed more like those people who stand behind the news reporter and wave at the camera just so that they can tell people "Dekha mujhe TV pe?" However, ever since Sudhakar quit, Fredricks gained prominence. Seems like he's gearing up for one of those lame ass comedy shows Aaj tak shows re runs of.

Dr. Salunkhe: CID saw a lot of forensic experts come and go but nobody could match up to the genius of Dr. Salunkhe. He says "Boss lashe bhi bolti hain", and he proves it. He merely glances at the dead body and is able to tell whether the body has been decomposing for 2 weeks or 3 weeks, whether the killer was a male or a female and what kind of poison has been used to murder the victim. He has a state of the art laboratory with beakers and test tubes brimming with soda and food colouring. He also has the latest technology to his disposal, softwares which might look as screen savers initially but are able to make such accurate sketches of the suspects that not a mole is out of place. He recently got a hair transplant. You should check out his before and after pictures.

Asha: The only woman officer whose name I remember. She used to be on the CID team when it premiered in '98. She quit the show and now has assumed the identity of a TV vamp with garish make-up and oversized bindis wrecking havoc in the protagonist's life. Wonder if CID is after her in their next case.

Now you can't help but admit that even though it may defy logic CID is an epic show- the Rajnikant of Indian Television!

The Railway Budget

Since, i have a lot of free time nowadays, my life's been reduced to the life of the proverbial couch potato. And these days I'm informed of everything that's there to see on television, I mean everything that comes under the Tata Sky package that has been very kindly subscribed to by my parents. Not that I didn't watch television earlier. I was always addicted to it but the affair seems to have grown off late.

So I watch everything from Zor ka Jhatka to Wipeout Australia, from Masterchef India to Masterchef US, India's Minute to Win it to Minute to Win it, Koffee with Karan to Koffee with Anu. You get the trend.

Today, i happened to stumble upon Channel 101, ie., DD National. And behold the sight of Mamta didi in her yellow shawl speaking Bengali with such elan that it almost sounds like Hindi and is actually comprehendable. I have to say that this is by far THE most entertaining reality TV show that I have ever seen. Agreed, Laloo was entertaining in his own inimitable style but Didi is no less. She sure is stealing his thunder and how!

So it's straight out of a reality show but mind you better than Bigg Boss or anything else you've seen so far and I bet this is one original Indian show format that will be copied by those American studios who blame us so ruthlessly for blatant copies of their formats. This is our answer.

All you need is a bunch of unruly senior folks who've been elected by the people , for the people and of the people of the country through a system called voting(that's how the initial revenue will come in). The varied their ethnicity, the better it is for the show. Because when one person says "Aap mujhe bolne kyu nahi deta hai"in a Bengali accent, the other person shouts "Jo bole so nihaal sat sri akaal."

And the way they shout and scream at each other will seriously put those baldies from Roadies and Dolly Bindra among others out of business.

Mamta Banerjee is like the class prefect who thinks they have all the authority but the truth is that nobody listens to them. So just like the class prefect who sulks and goes running to the teacher to complain about the errant students, she too requests Madam Speaker to ask the MPs to stop shouting in order for her to be able to talk. Now our Honourable Speaker is like the soft spoken teacher who everyone else takes for granted. So nobody listens to her.

Mamta Banerjee now sits down, stands up and sits down again. Tells the other to stop talking and listen to her but the situation is now out of hand with people threatening to stage walkouts because of the patronage she's given to her home state has not been taken too kindly just like being a class prefect's best friend is the best and the worst thing that could happen to you. You get all the favours while the other kids keep complaining until the class prefect, in order to safeguard his reputation gives away candies to the other kids as well. So now the other MPs are happy as well, their constituencies have received their privileges as well. Seems like lessons in politics do begin at school.

And all this while, Laloo ji is quietly sitting in one corner smirking away to glory because he knows that he is the veteran of politainment.

Now that's what I call paisa vasool entertainment.The great Indian tamasha or dance of democracy whatever you'd like to call it. Too bad, it comes just once a year!

Zodiac the 13th

Ophiuchus ( Pronouced as OFF-ee-YOO-kuss) is the newest addition to the Zodiac. It's the thirteenth symbol of the zodiac which has wreaked havoc. No seriously, I nearly had a nervous breakdown because I faced this major identity crisis. I went to sleep as an Aquarian but I woke up the next day to realise that I've turned into a Capricornian. This meant that I was no longer friendly and humanitarian , honest and loyal ,original and inventive or independent and intellectual but had turned into a ram who's pessimistic, fatalistic miserly and grudging. I believe I'm not the only one with several people harbouring grudges about the sudden loss of zodiac identity.

Here's also why I feel that a new zodiac sign is a bad idea after all:-

• Because the astrology based shows with spirit infested babas with black tikkas and raging hormones will get more air time on India TV, News 24 and the likes.

• Because the cheap imitation versions of Telebrands will start selling the Shree yantra with added benefits that will include a free guide on how to be a true Ophiuchusian.

• Because Ashutosh Gowariker will make now make a sequel to What's your Rashee and it will be four hours of unbearable torture.

• Because Bejaan Daruwala will get a new book deal and come up with two books on zodiac based predictions in the same year.

• Because no raddi wala will agree to take your second hand copy of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs.

• Because all the mugs engraved with zodiac sign that you'd received as birthday gifts over the years will now be of no significance now.

• Because you will no longer be able to use the phrase " I'm a true blue {insert Zodiac sign}-ian" now. (atleast for a while) as ice breakers.

• Because you will no longer be compatible with the people you supposedly used to be unless their signs have changed too and become compatible with people you hate. So, you might end up having arguments with your best friend and become best friends with your nemesis.

• Because you Ophiuchusians will not be able to find keychains or badges that you can pin on your bags at Crossword.

• Because Eyjafjallajökull will still be the toughest word in terms of pronounciation.

Here's the new Zodiac Chart:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan 20

What's your NEW Rashee?!

On Facebook

Disclaimer: I would like to state this at the outset, that this post is not intended to mock anyone. Please do not take offence if some of this is true for you because some of this is true for me as well.

You may now read on. :)

I was researching on the Food Security Bill when I overheard my cook saying that she has a Facebook account. The Rangarajan Committee report had to be side-lined for a brief moment because I couldn't resist logging in and stalking her profile. But I didn't know her surname. I didn't want to ask.

Now, how this brief moment turned into half an hour I still haven't been able to figure out.And Facebook continues to remain open in one of the tabs whenever I happen to log in and for whatever reason.

So why after all are we obsessed with this blue and white and black page. [Trivia: Mark Zuckerberg is colour blind. Hence the colours] and what actually started this affair. Is it because we'd had our share of Fraaaandship requests on Orkut and moved over from Testimonials to Pokes and wanted an option that helps you connect with people you recognise by face or name or because it was a cool thing because you could write on people's walls without being chided? Whatever may be the reason it's turned into a virtual clone for most of us.And inspite of being aware of our "addiction" we do little about it.

Here are a few trends I've observed on Facebook which I personally find somewhat irksome.

• I moved on to Facebook from Orkut to stay away from creeps who send 'fraandship' requests. I must admit though, this option did offer some respite for some time, eventually the "Will you make fraandship" with me posts because "I'm a kewl n R0Ckkkk!|\|g Guy" did pour in to haunt me. The so called privacy settings didn't help either till much later.

• That Facebook is constantly "reinventing" itself. Just when you start getting used to a new avatar another one comes up and it's much worse than the former one. It's like Apple gadgets, you're hooked on to them even though you know that there aren't very many useful changes.

• That a lot of people do not understand what they are writing. We live times wherein Urban Dictionary has perv definitions for almost every single word. But why must people try to shorten simple four letter words such as "come" and write "I am cuming in an hour." Please refer to the Urban Dictionary incase you find nothing wrong with this sentence. Also, LOLsss is not a word. LOL stands for Laugh Out Loud in common parlance. You cannot possibly Laugh Out Loudssssss unless you're Mallika Sherawat from Hisssss.

• That our vocabulary seemingly comprises of mainly two words namely "Wassup" and "Nothing much"

• That my homepage is flooded with people joining hundreds of groups and liking thousands of pages.

• That I get Farmville, Fishville, Cityville requests everytime I log in.

• That people I barely know refer to me as "Dear", "Sweetie" and "Babe".
  

• That I get tagged in pictures that say "Merry Christmas " and "Happy Diwali" alongwith several other people who I don't know and get annoying notifications.

• That people feel the need to update every second of their lives and those indirect hints in the form of songs by Taylor Swift et al.

• That people who never speak with you face-to-face pretend to be best friends on Facebook chat.

• That Facebook's friend suggestions include the weirdest of people.They may include your former employer as well.

• That a lot of people enjoy sharing their wisdom and relationship advice and other forms of "gyaan" via status messages.

• That some of us believe in posting each and every Youtube link we come across

• That some of us stick to monikers and middle names such as "Stinson" or "Cullen" and the likes.

What are your pet peeves?