She is the HRH I am talking about. The moment her fingertips touch the doorbell I am awake. umm is partly because of the consequences which I may have to face later such as ruining the afternoon siesta among other things.
My maid is a robust middle aged woman who goes by the name Lakshmi. I do not understand why every maid that I've had in Bombay has to be called Lakshmi and why all of them belong to some obscure village in Andhra Pradesh. But all Lakshmis have contrasting personalities. Lakshmi 1 was a chirpy 20 something female who would eventually get married giving way to Lakshmi 2 who had a morose expression and a peculiar trait of understanding Hindi only when it came to discussing her allowance. A new house comes with a new maid and so the new Lakshmi is a shrill high-pitched female who is bursting with an extra dose of enthusiasm when it comes to striking a conversation with me and an equally low degree of enthusiasm when it comes to dusting the house.
The moment she enters the house she rattles off her favourite ice-breaker "Babyji, nas(h)ta kiya". I have lost count of the number of times I've heard this sentence. Sometimes I wonder if I develop amnesia I may forget everything else but most definitely remember these words. She has failed to understand that no matter how many times she asks me this question, she will end up getting the same response. A negative one. She has failed to understand that her tactics that have an effect on my mother will never have an effect on me. Read: Giving her something to eat or giving her tea.
So on weekends when I do not have to wake up to open the door for her, she takes her revenge in a different way. She will open up all the blinds to let all the sunshine of the world enter my room and switch off the fan and deliberately not switch it on again. The response when I wake up "Babyji main toh bhool gayee" followed by that wicked grin of hers which makes me punch her right on her nose.
The other day she suddenly came up with the theory that I pretend not understanding Telugu but actually I do because I happened to put a Telugu channel on TV while channel surfing. And then there are days when she "accidently" hits my leg with the broom.
So all in all it is a hate-hate relationship. And I guess that's enough maid bashing for the day. :|
hahaha...this was extremely hilarious....like the kind that'll make ur sense of humour be like that of a guy.
ReplyDeletea blogpost on ur maid was long overdue...even my maid switches off the fan and never bothers to switch it back again. but she never asks me to make tea for her...she just likes to compare my sister to me....my sister being the better child in her eyes...i am not very fond of her...for the reason i just stated and the fact that she tries to compete wd me for affy's attention...and she likes to strike a conversation not just wd me...but with u as well...just everyone ...affy included..:)
you are in much worse conditions than me though...but never mind..when u move out of ur home to live by urself..u can choose a maid whose name is not lakshmi!
There should be a 'like' button here...
ReplyDeletePS-Ive never really spoken to my maid or she to me ever. She just comes,does her work(at which she's quite bad at) and leaves. My paternal grandfather used to do a lot of talking with the maids. And when the maid used to clean his room,he used to sit on the bed and touch her with his toes 'by mistake'. We lost many a good maid like this. Perverted guy :| Sheesh...I could write a 100 articles on my grandpa!! :P
Oh,I had one maid named lakshmi a couple of years back.
This one's a bitch of the first order
ReplyDeleteall maids r the same....my maid irritates the shit out of me by asking crazy questions..n the worst question she asks is "arey aap abhi tak yahin ho,mumbai nahi gaye?" m so pissed pff wid her..:(
ReplyDelete