Why I Love and Hate the Rains

It's been a while since I've blogged. This was thanks to my internship which consumed the entire week and left me so exhausted by the end of it that all I wanted to do was sleep and watch TV and sleep some more.

So anyway, the monsoons graced Mumbai in the last week of May bringing much respite to the EXTREMELY sultry weather which was so bad that I'm told even the sight of those ridiculous deodorant adverts which feature 'hot' women drooling over the deo owner would repulse them. Hence, you can imagine how bad it was.

As usual, the Municipal body was less than prepared to handle the fury of the rains because in our city, when it rains it pours. And the bylanes and more often than not even the main roads start resembling the Venice of a third world country. And no, these waters don't discriminate. So there are frequent sights to marvel at like the ones when a BMW gets stuck in the middle of the mini pool and the humble autorickshaw is able to manoeuvre it's way through like a badass machine.

Believe you me, if you really want to experience the monsoons Mumbai style, it is highly recommended you travel by public transport just so that you can experience those everlasting memories.

Here are the top 5 reasons why I love the monsoons:

1. The breeze doesn't dehydrate you by the time you reach your destination because more often than not you will NOT find public transport.
2. Since you sweat less, your face doesn't look like that of the Bride of Frankenstein.
3. The rains make it impossible for the eunuchs to corner you at traffic signals and force you into giving them money.
4. The abundant craters and potholes ensure that every part of your body is given adequate workout before you reach your destination. Who cares about those Telebrands exercisers nowadays anyway?
5. And we can be assured that there won't be a water cut next year unless a certain industrialist decides to channelise every drop into his 22 storey Altamount Road wonder.

And here's why I hate them:

1. Because the access-way to the local train stations resembles a landslide site which has to be carefully treaded over. This basically means that I have to trek in my 3 inch stilletoes which basically isn't the ideal situation.
2. Because the local train seats are dripping with water ensuring that you all you can do is stand and stare at the vacant seats while your toes get mutilated. It's like being forced to listen to a Himesh Reshammiya song on TV because you cannot find the remote. Seriously, MTV?
3. Because your phone has to wrapped in several layers to plastic which effectively reduces the ringer volume ensuring atleast 5 missed calls in the span of 2 hours.
4. Because Tata Sky almost never receives signal even during the slightest of drizzle which basically means that I have no access to television till the month of September while my neighbours who've subscribed to the local cable services get uninterrupted transmission. My life is so not jhingalala! x(
5. Because the freaking wind makes my house seem haunted!

And umm, since I can't think of an appropriate ending for this post why don't I leave something for you to chew on:

Ever wondered what would happen if Freaky Friday transpired between Manmohan Singh and Digvijay Singh?!

☺