Zodiac the 13th

Ophiuchus ( Pronouced as OFF-ee-YOO-kuss) is the newest addition to the Zodiac. It's the thirteenth symbol of the zodiac which has wreaked havoc. No seriously, I nearly had a nervous breakdown because I faced this major identity crisis. I went to sleep as an Aquarian but I woke up the next day to realise that I've turned into a Capricornian. This meant that I was no longer friendly and humanitarian , honest and loyal ,original and inventive or independent and intellectual but had turned into a ram who's pessimistic, fatalistic miserly and grudging. I believe I'm not the only one with several people harbouring grudges about the sudden loss of zodiac identity.

Here's also why I feel that a new zodiac sign is a bad idea after all:-

• Because the astrology based shows with spirit infested babas with black tikkas and raging hormones will get more air time on India TV, News 24 and the likes.

• Because the cheap imitation versions of Telebrands will start selling the Shree yantra with added benefits that will include a free guide on how to be a true Ophiuchusian.

• Because Ashutosh Gowariker will make now make a sequel to What's your Rashee and it will be four hours of unbearable torture.

• Because Bejaan Daruwala will get a new book deal and come up with two books on zodiac based predictions in the same year.

• Because no raddi wala will agree to take your second hand copy of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs.

• Because all the mugs engraved with zodiac sign that you'd received as birthday gifts over the years will now be of no significance now.

• Because you will no longer be able to use the phrase " I'm a true blue {insert Zodiac sign}-ian" now. (atleast for a while) as ice breakers.

• Because you will no longer be compatible with the people you supposedly used to be unless their signs have changed too and become compatible with people you hate. So, you might end up having arguments with your best friend and become best friends with your nemesis.

• Because you Ophiuchusians will not be able to find keychains or badges that you can pin on your bags at Crossword.

• Because Eyjafjallajökull will still be the toughest word in terms of pronounciation.

Here's the new Zodiac Chart:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 - Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 - March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan 20

What's your NEW Rashee?!