An Ode to Angry Birds

It was in the Mag section of a newspaper that I came across this App called Angry Birds. An App that was supposed to be a rage with the owners of iPhones and iPod touch. Since, I'm technologically inferior I tend to rely a lot on these reviews while deciding what app or games to download in general. And I happened to browse through the App store and found the trial version of the app and installed it like I'd done with many others. Little did I know that this game would turn into an addiction and I would end up playing it for hours at an end so much so that the battery would drain out.

The basic premise of Angry Birds is very simple. There's a bunch of birds armed with special powers who have to knock down green pigs who've placed themselves very strategically. So you have to load the birds onto a catapult and stretch it enough so that they knock the pigs down. The birds go wheeeeee and knock down the grunting pigs who mock at you if you're unable to complete the level. Thereafter, you replay the game with even more vengeance only to realise that that one pig which is still alive is smirking and grunting and mocking you. In a span of 2 weeks I was able to complete all the levels in the trial version. I then happened to chance upon Ducks vs Hunters on Facebook which was as bad a copy of Angry Birds as Karishma ka Karishma is of Small Wonder. I eventually succumbed to the addiction and went ahead and bought the full version of the App from the App Store for $0.99. This also happened to be my first purchase ever from the App store.

As the levels progress and there are over 60 levels, the level of difficulty gets greater and bigger and more number of pigs begin to appear with helmets. They are now ensconced in concrete, wood and glass walls which require a minimum of three bird hits to topple them down. The choice or order of birds unfortunately doesn't rest on you and you wish at times that the game would function on motion sensors and then gravity would do it's job.

These are the stars of the game:

Black Bird: This bird is explosive..literally! Falls on the structures and blasts them like a thousand sticks of dynamite.

Yellow Bird: Crashes right through the structures. Extremely powerful and very useful for pig destruction.

Red Bird: The small one does little harm but the big one is one huge cannon ball..crushes the pigs like those obese aunties in the local trains who crush you while jostling for place.

Blue Bird: This bird may be tiny but it splits into three birds which may not be very destructive but nevertheless add to the interest value.

White Bird: This bird drops an egg which is supposed to be explosive but does as little damage to a pig as bird poop would do if it were to fall on someone's head.

Green Bird: The green bird is the worst of all. It acts like a boomerang but loses it's rebound tendencies as soon as it touches anything including a balloon. To be able to use this bird well, you need to have paid attention to your teacher in your physics and trigonometry classes.

You are also rated on your performance with one, two or three stars depending on how well you've performed. As for me, I'm still stuck on level 3-16...any ideas?

Why CID is such an awesome show

If there is one thing that's constant on Sony Entertainment Television it's got to be CID. The show that's been going on for over a decade and shows no signs of going off air anytime soon. I sincerely hope that it doesn't. StarWorld quotes Michael Weston (Burn Notice) as the James Bond of Television but I think ACP Pradyuman and his team of super sleuths rule the roost.

Here's why I think the characters deserve a pat on the back:

ACP Pradyuman: Where else would you find an officer who is so committed and dedicated to his work that inspite of solving every case he lays his hands on, he doesn't get a promotion in 13 years and he still wants to continue with his job. He also believes in imparting education through the show. Ever noticed him demonstrating the Right Hand Rule? If not, then observe carefully the next time you watch the show! And don't miss him reiterating "Oh my gaaaawwd Yahan toh laash hai" , "Daya Darwaza tod do" and "Ab toh tumhe ya toh umarkaid ya phansi milegi"!

Abhijeet: Senior inspector Abhijeet is another promotion deprived officer on the show but he seems to believe in the theory of do your best and leave the rest. So he doesn't care about his promotion either. This could also be attributed to the fact that he was once hit by a rod which led to recurring bouts of amnesia. Unfortunately, what he doesn't forget is the fact that he has to hit on the not so good looking Forensics doctor with Maggi like hair who doesn't give a damn in every episode that goes on air.

Daya: Daya is one lucky guy. He joined the team as a sub inspector and went on to become a Senior Inspector. Seems like breaking doors and slapping criminals thereby leading to them confessing to their crimes does go a long way in getting promotions in the CID office. Also, he seems to be Abhijeet's chaddi buddy. It's almost like watching Chacha Choudhary and Saboo.

Sudhakar and Fredricks: Unfortunately, I could never figure out their designations. They seemed more like those people who stand behind the news reporter and wave at the camera just so that they can tell people "Dekha mujhe TV pe?" However, ever since Sudhakar quit, Fredricks gained prominence. Seems like he's gearing up for one of those lame ass comedy shows Aaj tak shows re runs of.

Dr. Salunkhe: CID saw a lot of forensic experts come and go but nobody could match up to the genius of Dr. Salunkhe. He says "Boss lashe bhi bolti hain", and he proves it. He merely glances at the dead body and is able to tell whether the body has been decomposing for 2 weeks or 3 weeks, whether the killer was a male or a female and what kind of poison has been used to murder the victim. He has a state of the art laboratory with beakers and test tubes brimming with soda and food colouring. He also has the latest technology to his disposal, softwares which might look as screen savers initially but are able to make such accurate sketches of the suspects that not a mole is out of place. He recently got a hair transplant. You should check out his before and after pictures.

Asha: The only woman officer whose name I remember. She used to be on the CID team when it premiered in '98. She quit the show and now has assumed the identity of a TV vamp with garish make-up and oversized bindis wrecking havoc in the protagonist's life. Wonder if CID is after her in their next case.

Now you can't help but admit that even though it may defy logic CID is an epic show- the Rajnikant of Indian Television!